Recovery from dating a borderline
Perhaps some words of comfort. They need to be able to please at the right moment to not get beat up. The hallmarks of BPD are: Do the things you like to do. The person with BPD is not aware of this or only in hindsight or flat out deny it. You may feel disoriented and hopeless much of the time. They will want to comeback, but are not able to change themselves or they would have done so!
I hope what i said matches your story, it helped me a bit to write it out perhaps a bit ramblings of a mad man haha. Don't doubt yourself, search your feelings, you know this to be true reference intended. Consider that nagging sense, that is getting louder, your best friend right now. The other tip i will give you: As you emerge out of this bio-chemical depressive fog, everything hurts, you are not sure you will ever recover and you are questioning the core of who you really are so you slip back into the fog. He was clever and funny and we enjoyed many of the same activities. They "split" the bad memory away and act like it never happened, while you are still hurting. Do the things you like to do. Ready to break free of the hurt to attract the life you deserve? His every move seems to just make things worse. Do something you wanted to do but never have. Just her reflecting what i wanted in a girl. Get the know the only person that is always there, you. They want to be loved, they really do. Be curious about them, about yourself. I suggest that you reach out to friends and family and confide exactly how difficult and unhealthy the relationship had become. We are of similar ages and had similar backgrounds. Chronic feelings of boredom or emptiness. They know, in hindsight, what they have done and that it was wrong. There is no solving their problem for you. Yet they can't deal with their emotions about doing bad things. Medically defined cases of BPD, diagnosed or not, reach far beyond natural female emotional range of expression. Sadly, it is his decency that attracts her in the first place and ignites her rage over time. Then you back off a bit. Enjoy what you have. Emotionally they are compared to a 3rd degree burn victim. They will want to comeback, but are not able to change themselves or they would have done so!
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