Dating a guy with multiple sclerosis
FWIW, she's 28 and I am a 30 year old male. But worry is just borrowing trouble from the future and it doesn't actually solve any problems; don't pre-pay. I married him because I knew he would take care of me no matter what. I definitely wouldn't want to be with someone who would potentially see me as a burden. Could one or both of you explore options or fields where you could someday transition into working from home, on a flexible schedule, freelance, etc.? True story, I suffer from clinical depression in a pretty major way, and I am at a high risk for cancer for all sorts of reasons. So I don't have the option of your question as it is written.
She will certainly never work again. I mean, honestly, she takes such shockingly good care of herself physically that it's more or less invisible. I have known several strong relationships where one partner had MS. But I don't think you should drag it out if, in a year or two, you find that you're still uncertain, or doubt your ability to be a partner in rough times. Imagine you settle down with some other person who is diagnosed with a terminal cancer after three months together that happened to someone I know and he was already in deep enough that he remained for three more gruelling years and cared for her until the end if her life. It's not what I signed up for, expected, prepared for. I have been single for just over a year and have recently fallen for someone with MS. But I would get it if someone couldn't deal. It might just be amazing. It takes too much energy for me to be sick to worry about that. But worry is just borrowing trouble from the future and it doesn't actually solve any problems; don't pre-pay. Prognosis is much better for MS diagnosed early in life. I just started using a walker off and on this winter. Any person you meet and fall in love with is vulnerable. This can happen to anyone. So, assuming it does, is this really a good idea? But nothing in life is certain. But you sure as hell better be upfront about that with a partner. Let her find someone who wouldn't see her illness as a burden. Anything could happen in the next few years as others have pointed out to both her and me and I'm not one to throw opportunities down the drain. By contrast, everything I read about MS suggests that sooner or later everyone gets worse, it's just a question of time. On a practical level, knowing that you both have health problems and that she may eventually not be well enough to work in a traditional way, I would let this guide your choices about health care coverage, location, and careers, or at least keep it in the back of your mind. I don't think most people expect to get sick at As someone who is the chronically ill partner, I can say, I don't think it's illness that breaks up a relationship. You yourself have your own health limitation, and though you seem to keep it hidden why does nobody know?
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